In recent months I have been studying the roles of men and women and their relative interaction as defined by Scripture. Maybe I’ll write a post or two on what I have learned, though I suspect the topic will chase my last two friends away. People just don’t seem to appreciate hearing the hard truths…

In the process, I found a few commonly repeated phrases that I used to laugh at. Now, I have come to recognize them as lies straight from the enemy of our souls that masquerade as ‘wisdom’ while undermining Biblical truth and structure. Here are three with some thoughts and scripture…

“The man might be the head, but the woman is the neck.”

The implied undertone is that she can steer him or make him look/go wherever she wants.

From a purely physiological examination, the statement proves utterly false. The neck can do nothing without the brain giving the command. Period. End of illustration. But for truth’s sake, what does Scripture say?

^{Eph. 5:22} Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Ephesians 5:22-24

Simple stuff here that flies in the face of western Christian egalitarianism. What is especially poignant is that Paul gives this corollary, ‘wives submit to your own husbands’ and then follows with the proof: Christ (Messiah) is the head of the church (properly, qahal, or congregation) and the church/congregation submits to Christ.

Imagine the audacity of a church or body that says, ‘Christ may be the head, but we are the neck’ implying some sort of power or authority to steer or move Him. The lunacy of the supposed ‘wisdom’ is immediately exposed when held next to the higher example.

“Happy wife, happy life.”

This is another phrase of ‘conventional wisdom’ that makes me cringe when I hear it. A related line that is often applied to a wife with reference to her husband’s happiness is,

“If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”

Both of these statements carry the strong joking undertone that she can pitch a fit and thereby manipulate husband and house into doing whatever she wants. And, if you will begin to watch this, you will see that indeed, the game is manipulation.

Using the previous verses to set the stage, where is there room for the church to pitch a fit and manipulate Yeshua into doing whatever it is we want Him to do?

Crazy, right? Yet, I have heard these very phrases and watched the underlying actions played out before my eyes in countless ‘godly’ couples.

Submission is not very popular to talk about. It is even less popular to bring up real male headship in the home and *gasp* don’t even breathe ‘patriarchy!’ But where does the Bible teach anything else? From Creation, in Gan Eden, before sin, Adam was head of his house and Chava (Eve) belonged to him and was his first responsibility to love and protect. (Yes, he is not to lord it over her or abuse/misuse his position, but that is a different topic for another day. The commandment to love and the commandment to submit are related, but not dependent on each other. )

The bottom line is that we are to be seekers of truth, particularly if we long for restoration! We are to seek out what Scripture says and be conformed to it, not bend it to fit our desires and designs.

How are we doing? Are we truly seeking to conform our homes and relationships therein to the Scriptural paradigm, or are we pursuing a worldly mark set by the enemy of our souls?

Selah.